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) decision to do so, then at least you can do it in the least life-damaging way possible. While there are many times you might want to text your ex, it’s rare that you truly need to.

So here are five super easy steps to painlessly text your ex. “That song we both like came on the radio” is not a good reason to text your ex. I’m not saying you shouldn’t text her for a valid, honest reasons — even a simple congratulations is appropriate when it’s due. On the flip side, you may be in a situation in which you should really call.

Did you congratulate her on graduating and she said “Thank you? Did she confirm that, yes, that was her old friend from circus camp you ran into? Did she not respond to your text message whatsoever? You just have to stop texting before someone makes a fool of themselves (especially you).

I’m going to level with you: this is really hard for me. You get the ball rolling, you’re talking about yourselves and where you are now and then all of a sudden you’re curious if they want to get a drink and catch up. So remember: play it cool, keep it short and maybe (just maybe) don’t do it at all.

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You can find her on the twitter, the tumblr or even on the instagram.

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Below is a compilation of all the best free chat lines and party lines in the US and Canada.

You’re texting your ex for a very specific reason (ahem Step 1) so get on with it already.

You should preferably make your point in the first text message. If you hem and haw for too long your ex might get the wrong message and respond accordingly.

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